19 August 2005

Granny Weatherwax

Random quotes from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, featuring Granny Weatherwax--

Wyrd Sisters

"'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself," Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her.

Witches are not by nature gregarious, at least with other witches, and they certainly don't have leaders. Granny Weatherwax was the most highly regarded of the leaders they didn't have.

She had never mastered the talent for apologizing, but she appreciated it in other people.

...there was possibly something complimentary in the way Granny Weatherwax resolutely refused to consider other people's problems. It implied that, in her considerable opinion, they were quite capable of sorting them out by themselves.

Witches Abroad

....Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was.

Granny Weatherwax disapproved of magic for domestic purposes, but she was annoyed. She also wanted her tea. She threw a couple of logs into the fireplace and glared at them until they burst into flame out of sheer embarrassment

....Granny Weatherwax, who thought that female emancipation was a woman's complaint that shouldn't be discussed in front of men.

'Baths is unhygienic,' Granny declared. 'You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.'

'You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it is just a cage...'

Lords and Ladies

'Blessings be upon this house,' said Granny Weatherwax. In much the same tone of voice have people said, 'Eat hot lead, Kincaid.'

The first elf reached her, hauled her up by her shoulder, and got a doubled-handed, bony-knuckled punch in an area that Nanny Ogg would be surprised that Esme Weatherwax even knew about.

'.......you stupid man!'
'I do happen to be king, you know,' said Verence reproachfully.
'You stupid king, your majesty.'
'Thank you.'


Of course Granny Weatherwax made a great play of her independence and self-reliance. But the point about that kind of stuff was that you needed someone around to be proudly independent and self-reliant at. People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

Next thing it'd be cackling and gibbering and luring children into the oven. And it wasn't as if she even liked children.

'Shall I do madam's feet?' said the manicurist. She stared at Granny's boot and wondered if it might be necessary to use a hammer.

Carpe Jugulum

I've never caught her actually waiting for a dramatic moment, not in all the, well, things we've been involved in. I mean, if it was you or me, we'd been hanging around in the hall or something, but she just walks in and it's the right time.--Magrat

'Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant.'
'No I ain't.'

'Granny? But she is as moral as--'
'Oh, yes she is. But that's because she's got Granny Weatherwax glaring over her shoulder the whole time.'

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